Love Means Cleaning up the Chunks

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
And now faith, hope, and love abide, but the greatest of these is love.

What a crock of shit.

Love is cleaning up the chunks. Note: both my girls contributed to this axiom in the last few weeks. And 3 and 5 year old puke is way grosser than 1 and 3 year old puke.

Love is finding someone to tolerate and be tolerated by, day after day, week after week, year after year.

Love is never having to say, “I’m sorry for checking out that chick (or dude).”

Love is managing expectations.

Love is letting your daughter use your favorite sweatshirt as a diaper because you’re stuck on the highway in a snowstorm on the way home from a weekend in the mountains and you ran out of pull ups and she has diarrhea.

Love is sometimes best left up to personal interpretation.

Love is challenging.

Love means spraying in the bathroom even though you’re really proud of your work.

Love done right involves more giving than taking, unless you’re home alone.

Love cures ennui, but it can’t cure diaper rash.

Love is blind, especially at last call.

Love is tearing up at your daughter’s ballet recital.

Love is tearing up when your daughter pile drives a knee to your stones when you are trying to put on Curious George for her.

Love is not bugging your spouse for sex when your spouse has the flu.

Love is remembering not to be a selfish prick even when you really feel like being one.

Love is lying to your mom about going to church, just to make her feel good.

Love is asking your wife if she’s dropped a couple of pounds during “fudge season.”

Love is letting your wife sleep in on Saturday morning AND Sunday morning.

Love is not expecting any reciprocation from the last one…but knowing deep down that you better get some reciprocation anyway.

Love means Tivo-ing the game and watching it when everyone goes to bed.

Love means watching Grey’s Anatomy with your wife once in while to show her you can pretend a little bit that you find her taste in TV shows even remotely interesting.

Love is a lot of freaking work.

Love has its rewards, but sometimes you have to look real hard to find them.

Love is simultaneously over-hyped and underrated.

Love is better than a sharp stick in the eye.

Love is Evol spelled backwards.