I Wish I Got Married Sooner (words you’ll never hear)
Richard Jefferson is getting roasted in the media for jilting his smoking hot fiancee at the altar. I just listened to Howard Stern interview RJ, and Howard, in his infinite wisdom, hit the nail right on the head—Jefferson did the right thing.
First of all, RJ did not break off the former Nets dancer two hours before the wedding as was reported—it was a few days before. RJ claims that the wedding was not $2,000,000 but a “quarter of that,” which is good because a $2,000,000 no matter how big an NBA contract you have, is absurd. And RJ was very respectful of his ex during the interview and articulated some key points on marriage that showed that he handle the situation as well as could be expected.
Too often young couples discover during the engagement process that the marriage is doomed to failure but they are too far down the road to have the courage to break it off—especially if it’s just one of the two that comes to that realization. RJ did what most people are too afraid to do and ended a relationship that was doomed to end in divorce. Yes, in a perfect world this could have happened earlier in the engagement process, but often times that’s easier said than done.
One of my favorite sayings is that “you’ll NEVER hear someone say I wish I got married sooner.” I’ve never understood people rushing into marriage, and that’s not just the viewpoint of a crotchety, 42-year-old curmudgeon. I felt that way at 22. In fact my history with girlfriends was to pretty much ban all marriage discussion.
So why do people rush into marriage? Easy. It’s the same human condition that controls so much of our lives: fear and insecurity. That’s why the we use expressions like “soul mate.” It excuses our stupid actions since we all know that “soul mates” end up in divorce court 89.7% of the time versus just the 50% of the time non-soul mates do.
I’ll teach my girls to tread slowly with marriage despite the nauseating wedding day bullshit that girls are showered with their whole lives. Perhaps if the “BIG DAY” wasn’t the ultimate moment in a girl’s life, her moment in the sun as a beautiful princess, the day they’ve been DREAMING of, more people would have the sense to make the tough choice that Jefferson made.
The wedding day is not an endpoint, it’s day 1 of 18,567 and each day that passes dulls your wedding day memories until the only thing you can think of is how much you wish you could get that 25 grand back—or if you play in the NBA, 500 grand.
