I Need Professional Help
Styx said it best: ta ta ta too much time on my hands.
This is what I did today after a solid hour of job hunting. Why did I chose this “activity?” Good question. I pondered things to write about but nothing inspired me until I thought back to a couple of days ago and the golf tournament I played in. The charity tournament had numerous alcohol sponsors and even more numerous young, scantily clad women. Naturally I was repulsed but considering it was for a good cause, I plodded along and sampled many of the free refreshments.
As the refreshments added up, our foursome grew less repulsed by the scantily clad women and even began to engage them in some friendly banter. (Side note: this morning my wife mentioned to me that she overheard a phone conversation of mine from last night mentioning said scantily clad women to my brother and she found it curious that I had failed to mention that aspect of the fundraiser to her. I also found that curious.) Ultimately, my happy foursome of old married guys devolved into sad men, past their primes, ogling young women presumably half their age.
I only bring this up because during the tournament I posed a query to the group. It sounded something like this: “Do you think there’s any similar situation that our wives would behave comparably to the way we are behaving now?” None of us could produce such a scenario. I wonder if we were being naive, or if we are just really just that far behind on the evolutionary ladder. Any thoughts out there?
Somehow, this topic led me to create the above gallery—a pathetic, degrading to women, tongue-firmly-in-cheek tribute to myself. Clearly I’m bored, uninspired, and need desperately to get back to work. Someone please hire me before it’s too late.
Has there ever been more desperate cry for help? I think not.
Dude, there are far worse things to do with you down time. Trust me . . .
At least you got to play golf. I haven’t had the sticks out of the garage in over two years. Why don’t you hop a plane head my way. I’ll provide the beverages . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Closer
Ha! I said “you downtime.” I am so tired . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Closer
Ooh! It just occurred to me that I didn’t make a “My Man Mitch!” joke. I’m in Indiana, and our governor is named Mitch Daniels. And that was his campaign slogan . . . So you definitely need to make one of those signs! Hop to it!
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Closer
I’m on it. It will be up soon.
Dude! You’ve got my vote . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Lost
I’m going now . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Closer
Clearly you weren’t at the beach today with my friend and I as we watched the lifeguards–I mean our kids.
Amie aka MammaLoves´s last blog ..Enjoying the Sameness
No I wasn’t. But your on to something, those lifeguards are hot. We are talking about the same lifeguards I assume.
I’m going with the ladder theory. Just within this week, I can cite several examples from the male in my home:
1.) Male: Can (friend in college, not in residency) come over and do your physical therapy?
ME: Blank stare for 10 seconds. Elicits no response. Why would you ask that question?
Male: Well, maybe we could just not have health insurance.
ME: I am not the only one that uses it. How would we pay for Ella’s inhalers? They are $100 each AFTER deductibles?
Male: Oh. Huh. Didn’t know that.
2.) ME: Can you get the handrail up in the rental house? The inspector is coming next week.
Male: I thought we didn’t have any extra money.
ME: Um, what are you talking about?
Male: You said we didn’t have money to burn; why should we pay for that?
ME: Because if we don’t, they will kick the renters out and fine us? And then we will have to pay the mortgage without income to cover it?
Male: So we have money for that but not for what?
ME: Baseball jerseys signed by people and unlimited supplies of pop.
It goes on and on…and he spent over $120 on groceries, but somehow came home without one item containing chocolate. Not one.
Cannot bitch–he did do the shopping.
Jenn´s last blog ..Five Feet Tall
NO CHOCOLATE???!!!??? Moron! Caveman! How dare he?
“Do you think there’s any similar situation that our wives would behave comparably to the way we are behaving now?”
Are you kidding? Why do you think the Chippendales draw 200 middle-aged women every time they perform somewhere? If you haven’t seen it, it’s really quite hysterical.
Jeff´s last blog ..W.T.F. FRiDAY’S
I briefly considered this Chippendales angle, but perhaps due to my lack of interest in their product, I disregarded it. Oh, wait, my lack of interest may not be relevant.
At least you had the brains not to post that picture of you giving the Cuervo girl a piggy back ride.
I have no recollection of that senator. Especially since it is a poor, unfunny attempt to throw me under the bus with the wife. She knows my back is too messed up to give Cuervo girls piggy backs.
Mitch, as a card-carrying member of the Fairer Gender, I will say this — we gals may not not ogle at younger men en masse, but when there’s an attractive man in our midst, trust me: we notice. If he’s with a women and being loving toward her, we’re wishing we were her (or that we’d find a man just like him); if he’s with his child(ren), we are a misty-eyed mess of “awwww”; and if he’s solo and he smiles at us, and we’re not single, we go home and @#%* the brains out of our partner.
I’m just sayin’ …
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..The key to a woman’s mystery is in the bag
Kat,
Could you clear up that last line? One of the words is a bit scrambled.
As usual, awesome comment. Thanks!