Will Work For … You Name It
Very recently I did my part to prolong the recession, increase the unemployment numbers and help worsen the Colorado state deficit; I lost my job. The last time I was out of work was close to eight years ago. I was single (well engaged), I had no kids that I knew of, I was living at the beach in California, I was obviously younger and spryer, and I was more than confident that I could get a new job any time I wanted (and I pretty much did).
This time around I’m older, I’m married, I have two kids, I have responsibilities, and the job market is a tad softer than it was in aught one.
click to enlarge
Am I concerned? Nah. I know things will work out. However, if you see a news report about a bald, clever, 40-something dad of two getting busted for bank robbery because he’s been out of work for a year, don’t be shocked if this blog goes stagnant—unless they have internet in the big-house, then we’re still in business.
The upside to my economic downturn is that due to my dearth of interviewing prospects: I’ve gotten to spend some extra time chasing the girls around the house, I only shave once or twice a week which is my personal preference, I’ve gotten to tone my flabby body up a bit (though the human eye is not precise enough to measure the subtle change), and I have had ample opportunity to ponder the meaning of life. Note: I have yet come up with a definitive position on the subject but it’s only been a couple of weeks.
I have also started writing my third book (my first two were summarily ignored by the publishing industry, possibly because my books sucked but most likely due to a personal vendetta launched against me by every major publishing house in the western hemisphere). My first two efforts were novels and since I have decided that fiction is dead, I’m turning my attentions to non-fiction. That’s all I can say now due to confidentiality agreements and intellectual property concerns (I don’t want anyone stealing my idea: Sexy and Sassy Over 40 Dads coffee table book). Shit. I just let the cat out of the bag.
Anyway, to my comrades patiently waiting at the Home Depot for day labor, I wish you good luck. And if anyone needs to hire a wise-ass, slightly witty, sexually frustrated blogger, please contact my representatives using the Contact Mitch tab. Team McDad will be sifting through offers and passing them on to me ASAP.
Now what time is Oprah on in Denver?
Don’t be modest. We all know you’re making the big bucks with this blog.
Amie aka MammaLoves´s last blog ..I’m Grateful for My Kids…Really…I am. Wha?!
There’s always the sperm bank. Oh, wait. You got snipped, too. Crap.
I hope I’ll be in that book.
I don’t know. You need to send an 8×10 glossy in a swimsuit to be considered. My wife will be judging who makes the book.
Then I better hit the gym after the school bus comes on Thursday.
Darren´s last blog ..Four More Years
I also would consider spray tan, full body hair removal, dad-orexia, and perhaps a gift for the judge (*these suggestions are for all the entrants). I also invite this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, and this guy to submit your entries. For those of you young punks dads under 40, a special dispensation will need to be granted since the title of the book kind of precludes you from inclusion.
try stand-up! you can do it. hey you do have kids afterall. just use them for content
deborah´s last blog ..R and R
Honestly, stand-up would definitely be something I would do if I could. I have so much respect for good stand-up comedians.
That sucks about the job.
As far as the coffee table book? Will it be oversized, in order to capture the full essence of my belly?
William´s last blog ..Signature 2
Maybe we can have a series of centerfolds to accomdate such concerns.
I’m all about centerfolds. No staples!
And thanks for including me as one of the guys. I’m honored . . .
As for being out of work? Yeah, I’m there again. Displaced this time, as opposed to laid off. There is a difference, they tell me. No money looks the same no matter how you look at it . . .
And great post on evolution.
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Dear Tweakers
Dude, if we lived closer, I’d lend you my Rock Band to keep you busy.
Sorry to hear about the job but I’d love to be in the coffee table book too. It wouldn’t be PC without the gay blogging daddy section.
Hygiene Dad´s last blog ..A Word From Our Sponsors
Steve,
Let’s not get carried away. A gay dad section?? It would never sell in the south.
I’ll take the Rock Band though, thanks.
I found myself in the exact same position earlier this year. There is only so much Judge Judy I could watch before I started licking the windows….
Marcus Railton´s last blog ..Fatigue – The decreased capacity or complete inability of an organism, an organ, or a part to function normally because of excessive stimulation or prolonged exertion.